Ten years later... I can still sense my tendency to try to "be it all" - but the difference is - I choose to just "give it my all" and embrace who I am... why does wisdom come so late?
For most of my adult life, I have struggled with an identity crisis. Actually, the crisis has not been with who I am, but rather, with whom I wanted to be. Being a Christian wife and mother, I have had certain expectations of how I am perceived… both by God and man. When looking for biblical examples of what to strive for… I can always turn to Proverbs 31, but that woman intimidates me so greatly, I prefer to have a name and face (even a face in my imagination) with whom to emulate.
The New Testament gives us a glimpse into the lives of two sisters, Mary and Martha, who with their brother Lazarus, were friends of Jesus. Often I have attended women’s studies where the “Mary or Martha” styles were examined and the strong points of each discussed.
Martha, (the older in my opinion) was possibly a perfectionist. She had a plan and nothing would allow her to deviate from it. Her home was in order and she most certainly had the gift of hospitality. I have known many Marthas in my life. Their houses are always neat and clean. It doesn’t matter if it is a mansion or an apartment… a Martha can make a fold-down camper look homey and inviting. Not only is she a homemaker extraordinaire, a Martha is a whiz in the kitchen. She makes pies with edible crusts, meals for her family with more than one side dish, and sometimes… even dessert on a weeknight! Her casserole dishes always go home empty from a potluck.
Mary, (the wiser and more discerning, again in my opinion) had a heart for worship and love for her Lord. We read in John 12 about Mary actually washing Jesus’ feet, with of all things… her hair! What devotion! She put the care and needs of the One she loved above all else. Likewise, many Marys have crossed the path of my life. They are selfless individuals who will sacrifice everything for the good and well being of their husbands, children and even friends. Sometimes setting aside their own hopes and desires to create and maintain a level of serenity and sanity in which to nurture those God has blessed her with. In addition, her priorities always put the Master first. She would never put cleaning the refrigerator before her daily quiet time. She would never tell someone she would pray for them, and then casually forget to. A Mary would never go to Bible study without finishing her lesson.
Quite a pedestal those gals are on, huh? And do you wonder which one I’ve tried to be? The answer of course, is both of them! In an effort to “be it all,” in reality, I have become the sister who didn’t even make it into God’s Word: Margaret.
Margaret would have been the middle daughter, had she actually existed in this Bible family. She would have made every attempt during the Luke 10 episode to maintain peace and decorum. Because Margaret hates conflict and confrontation, she would have likely talked Martha out of her little ploy to get Mary into trouble with Jesus. And although she would not have been able to convince Martha to leave her kitchen duties, Margaret would have chosen to join Mary in the living room with Jesus. There she would whisper softly to her younger sister, “As soon as He’s finished, we need to hurry to the kitchen. I told Martha we would set the table… chop the leeks, and pick some fresh figs for dessert!” Her soft remark may have even gotten her a reprimand from Jesus… for another problem Margaret has, is she tends to talk too much! Anxious to hear her Savior speak, she tries to “be still” and hear, but she is unable to grasp everything Jesus has to say, because her thoughts continually wander out to Martha in the kitchen. She wonders if perhaps she should have stayed back to help.
A Margaret has the best intentions in the world. She aims for a clean and tidy home as well as a husband and children who rise up and call her blessed, but she often misses her mark. Add to this, that Margaret is not only “busy at home” but also has to deal with life in the workplace. She longs to be known as assertive and confident, but settles for trusting and loyal. A Margaret looks upon the Marys and Marthas in her life, not with jealousy, but with admiration. She wonders if she might not still attain those valuable traits so prevalent in the lives of her ancestral sisters.
And then Margaret hears her Heavenly Father tell her that He has given her exactly the traits he has wanted her to have. Whether or not she cultivates them in order to bear fruit is up to her. He has given her a love for service, a heart for worship, a family to nurture and a mission field on which to serve. All three women loved Jesus, and the fact that some were more easily distracted is merely a reminder for us all to put first things first.
There is, of course, really only one Martha (Martha Stewart does NOT count as a biblical character) and no other Mary can again wash the feet of Jesus. We have all been uniquely and wonderfully made, with just the characteristics required to serve both our Maker and Mankind. So don’t waste time wishing to be someone you are not! Bloom where you are planted and do well at what you do best. Margaret needs to love herself as her Creator loves her… and ask Him to make her all He has planned for her to be. You never know… someday she may find herself leading a Bible Study, or baking a delicious frozen pie to be served following it, or maybe even sitting at the foot of a Throne… right next to a couple of sisters from Bethany.
For most of my adult life, I have struggled with an identity crisis. Actually, the crisis has not been with who I am, but rather, with whom I wanted to be. Being a Christian wife and mother, I have had certain expectations of how I am perceived… both by God and man. When looking for biblical examples of what to strive for… I can always turn to Proverbs 31, but that woman intimidates me so greatly, I prefer to have a name and face (even a face in my imagination) with whom to emulate.
The New Testament gives us a glimpse into the lives of two sisters, Mary and Martha, who with their brother Lazarus, were friends of Jesus. Often I have attended women’s studies where the “Mary or Martha” styles were examined and the strong points of each discussed.
Martha, (the older in my opinion) was possibly a perfectionist. She had a plan and nothing would allow her to deviate from it. Her home was in order and she most certainly had the gift of hospitality. I have known many Marthas in my life. Their houses are always neat and clean. It doesn’t matter if it is a mansion or an apartment… a Martha can make a fold-down camper look homey and inviting. Not only is she a homemaker extraordinaire, a Martha is a whiz in the kitchen. She makes pies with edible crusts, meals for her family with more than one side dish, and sometimes… even dessert on a weeknight! Her casserole dishes always go home empty from a potluck.
Mary, (the wiser and more discerning, again in my opinion) had a heart for worship and love for her Lord. We read in John 12 about Mary actually washing Jesus’ feet, with of all things… her hair! What devotion! She put the care and needs of the One she loved above all else. Likewise, many Marys have crossed the path of my life. They are selfless individuals who will sacrifice everything for the good and well being of their husbands, children and even friends. Sometimes setting aside their own hopes and desires to create and maintain a level of serenity and sanity in which to nurture those God has blessed her with. In addition, her priorities always put the Master first. She would never put cleaning the refrigerator before her daily quiet time. She would never tell someone she would pray for them, and then casually forget to. A Mary would never go to Bible study without finishing her lesson.
Quite a pedestal those gals are on, huh? And do you wonder which one I’ve tried to be? The answer of course, is both of them! In an effort to “be it all,” in reality, I have become the sister who didn’t even make it into God’s Word: Margaret.
Margaret would have been the middle daughter, had she actually existed in this Bible family. She would have made every attempt during the Luke 10 episode to maintain peace and decorum. Because Margaret hates conflict and confrontation, she would have likely talked Martha out of her little ploy to get Mary into trouble with Jesus. And although she would not have been able to convince Martha to leave her kitchen duties, Margaret would have chosen to join Mary in the living room with Jesus. There she would whisper softly to her younger sister, “As soon as He’s finished, we need to hurry to the kitchen. I told Martha we would set the table… chop the leeks, and pick some fresh figs for dessert!” Her soft remark may have even gotten her a reprimand from Jesus… for another problem Margaret has, is she tends to talk too much! Anxious to hear her Savior speak, she tries to “be still” and hear, but she is unable to grasp everything Jesus has to say, because her thoughts continually wander out to Martha in the kitchen. She wonders if perhaps she should have stayed back to help.
A Margaret has the best intentions in the world. She aims for a clean and tidy home as well as a husband and children who rise up and call her blessed, but she often misses her mark. Add to this, that Margaret is not only “busy at home” but also has to deal with life in the workplace. She longs to be known as assertive and confident, but settles for trusting and loyal. A Margaret looks upon the Marys and Marthas in her life, not with jealousy, but with admiration. She wonders if she might not still attain those valuable traits so prevalent in the lives of her ancestral sisters.
And then Margaret hears her Heavenly Father tell her that He has given her exactly the traits he has wanted her to have. Whether or not she cultivates them in order to bear fruit is up to her. He has given her a love for service, a heart for worship, a family to nurture and a mission field on which to serve. All three women loved Jesus, and the fact that some were more easily distracted is merely a reminder for us all to put first things first.
There is, of course, really only one Martha (Martha Stewart does NOT count as a biblical character) and no other Mary can again wash the feet of Jesus. We have all been uniquely and wonderfully made, with just the characteristics required to serve both our Maker and Mankind. So don’t waste time wishing to be someone you are not! Bloom where you are planted and do well at what you do best. Margaret needs to love herself as her Creator loves her… and ask Him to make her all He has planned for her to be. You never know… someday she may find herself leading a Bible Study, or baking a delicious frozen pie to be served following it, or maybe even sitting at the foot of a Throne… right next to a couple of sisters from Bethany.
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