The past few weeks have found me pondering the matter of "hope" as I prepared a talk on the subject. It gave me an alternative to my usual view of things through the eyeglasses of "joy", but interestingly enough… in that study, I found the topic of this month's column, which is counting "on" joy.
While watching the NCAA tournament last month, I was struck by the great joy experienced by the winning, lower seeded teams as they knocked off some of the higher ranked ones in the early rounds. Now, no one goes into an athletic contest not “hoping” to win… but in cases when the "unexpected" happens, and a favored team is toppled, the jubilation seems much greater! Everyone enjoys a Cinderella story.
Observing such joy took me back to the days of watching my boys participate in parks and recreational sports. Each of the three was involved in the summer ball programs as well as the other occasional leagues. Invariably, our oldest son always ended up on a losing team. It didn’t matter if the other team was missing half their players; things never looked up for his team. One day, as we prepared to leave for a game, my son said excitedly, “I wonder if we’ll win today.”
“Well,” I said cautiously, “That would sure be great, but you know, your team hasn’t won a game yet this year.”
“I know!” my son replied, “I figure we’re due!” Hope. Even though experience might have made him doubt a probable, or even a possible victory… the opposite was true. And “all things come to him who waits.” Sometimes even joy.
That particular ballgame was against the league team with the best record. They were undefeated and exuded confidence. But something happened, from the early innings on, to my son’s team. The players were all there and they were all “on.” They did everything right and led throughout the game. The opposing team’s catcher walked over to the drinking fountain between innings to get a drink. As he walked past his mother, I overheard her ask him, “John, is this what you referred to as a 'cake walk'?” Ah ha! That boy had obviously exhibited high expectations to his mother! He offered no response. The game ended with a victory for the underdogs and joy for the players and their parents. Victory is never sweeter than after you’ve tasted defeat, and learning to handle defeat builds character. I offer another example:
Another son, also involved in summer sports programs, always seemed to end up on an amazing team. Year after year, his teams would go undefeated… and though he would have liked to think his presence was the determining factor, the truth was, he usually got a lucky draw. Our son found winning very comfortable. He came to expect it… Losing was not something he was accustomed to, but as life goes… something he eventually experienced, although by then, it was a more difficult lesson to learn. I found it interesting that when you “count” on joy and then miss it, the disappointment seems much greater, and often not handled as gallantly.
The final son played on both winning and losing teams and it didn’t really matter to him. His joy was in the camaraderie of the team. Sure, he wanted to win… but he went about things with less expectation, at least from what we could see. At the end of one season, as they prepared for the championship tournament, his team was ranked sixth out of the eight teams. Incredibly, they won their first game… and then the second. The championship game had them facing the top ranked team in the league. I normally wouldn’t have given them a snowball’s chance in July, but again… Unexpected joy steps in…. And the team with the 6th best (or 3rd worst) record won the tournament, and all the season’s losses dissolved into celebrating the thrill of victory.
Are you living with hope or expectations? I presume either (or both) are acceptable responses… but when counting joy, I believe I prefer hope. In Romans 5 we read, "Hope does not disappoint us." Things aren't always going to turn out as we "hoped," but when you "have hope" you always "have tomorrow." Life will continually hand us joy and sorrow, victory and defeat - that we can count on. Some events will cause us despair at the moment and later prove to be stepping stones to joy. Others, for which we may have held great expectations, will disappoint us… and still others, will come uninvited and unexpected… giving us a breath of joy that is especially sweet. Are you savoring the joy? Or are you too busy being discontented when things don’t always turn out as you planned? Keep your hopes high and your expectations low… you’ll seldom be disappointed. You can count on it!
2008 - I've had my hopes dashed a time or two since I wrote this article - but in the process, found unexpected joy that turned my mourning into dancing!
While watching the NCAA tournament last month, I was struck by the great joy experienced by the winning, lower seeded teams as they knocked off some of the higher ranked ones in the early rounds. Now, no one goes into an athletic contest not “hoping” to win… but in cases when the "unexpected" happens, and a favored team is toppled, the jubilation seems much greater! Everyone enjoys a Cinderella story.
Observing such joy took me back to the days of watching my boys participate in parks and recreational sports. Each of the three was involved in the summer ball programs as well as the other occasional leagues. Invariably, our oldest son always ended up on a losing team. It didn’t matter if the other team was missing half their players; things never looked up for his team. One day, as we prepared to leave for a game, my son said excitedly, “I wonder if we’ll win today.”
“Well,” I said cautiously, “That would sure be great, but you know, your team hasn’t won a game yet this year.”
“I know!” my son replied, “I figure we’re due!” Hope. Even though experience might have made him doubt a probable, or even a possible victory… the opposite was true. And “all things come to him who waits.” Sometimes even joy.
That particular ballgame was against the league team with the best record. They were undefeated and exuded confidence. But something happened, from the early innings on, to my son’s team. The players were all there and they were all “on.” They did everything right and led throughout the game. The opposing team’s catcher walked over to the drinking fountain between innings to get a drink. As he walked past his mother, I overheard her ask him, “John, is this what you referred to as a 'cake walk'?” Ah ha! That boy had obviously exhibited high expectations to his mother! He offered no response. The game ended with a victory for the underdogs and joy for the players and their parents. Victory is never sweeter than after you’ve tasted defeat, and learning to handle defeat builds character. I offer another example:
Another son, also involved in summer sports programs, always seemed to end up on an amazing team. Year after year, his teams would go undefeated… and though he would have liked to think his presence was the determining factor, the truth was, he usually got a lucky draw. Our son found winning very comfortable. He came to expect it… Losing was not something he was accustomed to, but as life goes… something he eventually experienced, although by then, it was a more difficult lesson to learn. I found it interesting that when you “count” on joy and then miss it, the disappointment seems much greater, and often not handled as gallantly.
The final son played on both winning and losing teams and it didn’t really matter to him. His joy was in the camaraderie of the team. Sure, he wanted to win… but he went about things with less expectation, at least from what we could see. At the end of one season, as they prepared for the championship tournament, his team was ranked sixth out of the eight teams. Incredibly, they won their first game… and then the second. The championship game had them facing the top ranked team in the league. I normally wouldn’t have given them a snowball’s chance in July, but again… Unexpected joy steps in…. And the team with the 6th best (or 3rd worst) record won the tournament, and all the season’s losses dissolved into celebrating the thrill of victory.
Are you living with hope or expectations? I presume either (or both) are acceptable responses… but when counting joy, I believe I prefer hope. In Romans 5 we read, "Hope does not disappoint us." Things aren't always going to turn out as we "hoped," but when you "have hope" you always "have tomorrow." Life will continually hand us joy and sorrow, victory and defeat - that we can count on. Some events will cause us despair at the moment and later prove to be stepping stones to joy. Others, for which we may have held great expectations, will disappoint us… and still others, will come uninvited and unexpected… giving us a breath of joy that is especially sweet. Are you savoring the joy? Or are you too busy being discontented when things don’t always turn out as you planned? Keep your hopes high and your expectations low… you’ll seldom be disappointed. You can count on it!
2008 - I've had my hopes dashed a time or two since I wrote this article - but in the process, found unexpected joy that turned my mourning into dancing!
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