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Walk by Faith or Sight?


Today I was reminded of a time in my life, eight years ago 'right now' to be exact, when I was contemplating Lasik eye surgery. Although I had hoped to have the procedure done for my 50th birthday, the family was experiencing some financial issues and I wasn't sure I should go through with it. I did go for the consult visit and was told I would be a good candidate, so now it was a decision of finance and faith.


I'd worn contacts since I was 14 years old and when they weren't in my eyes, I wore glasses for my extreme near sightedness. I was one of those people who couldn't find their glasses ‘without their glasses’... pretty much blind. But I wasn't blind. I could see with corrective lenses, and what if I had this surgery and something went wrong and I did lose my vision? What if our financial problems were to protect me from doing something I would later regret? It was one of those quandaries that leaves you sleepless - because even though you believe God is in Control, He gives you free-will to screw up your life, as you want. 


I've never been a "fleece before the Lord" kind of gal but I decided this was a good time to test the theory and I needed an answer fast. My medical flex deduction form was due in less than 10 days... (I would have the Lasiks done in January on the new year's plan). I prayed about what should be my 'fleece' and decided on a three-parter.


  • I needed to know how the flex reduction would impact my paycheck. I determined an amount that I felt I would still need to have my monthly income be.
  • I had a good supply of contacts that I'd gotten mail order.  The company would have to take them back.
  • I wanted to hear the song Amazing Grace.  I didn't care if it was on the radio, at church, someone singing in the grocery store line... It just had to be unplanned so I knew it was God and not me.  The reason you ask?  I was contemplating, "was blind, but now I see..." and if this was in God's plan for me - that first verse of Amazing Grace would seal the deal.


I had the payroll person run the numbers for me - my check would be within $5 of what I needed.  


I then called 1-800-CONTACTS.


Me: Hi.  I was wondering if I could return 4 boxes of contacts.

1-800:  Is there something wrong with them?

Me:  No, I'm just thinking about having surgery and wouldn't be needing them.

1-800:  We don't take returns like that.

Me:  OK, just thought I'd check…

1-800:  Well, wait a minute.  Are they open?

Me:  No.

1-800:  Did you write "L" and "R" on the boxes?

Me:  No.

1-800:  Just a minute, I'll be right back.

Me: (wait....)

1-800:  Yes, we can take them back.     


Score! As far as I was concerned - these were the two huge (hard) portions of the fleece... I'd just thrown Amazing Grace in there for good measure.  I'm a churchy kind of gal.  I listen to Christian radio... I sing at a lot of funerals - surely Amazing Grace would not be an issue... but the time was winding down.     


It was the first Wednesday night in December and my benefits deduction (medical flex) was due on Friday.  I had to make a decision.  Well, I think I had made a decision but I wasn't feeling great about it.  It was about 5:30pm and it was snowing. I decided not to go into Marion for choir practice. Taylor and I were home alone and he was lying on the sofa, watching TV,  I laid down on the loveseat.  It was dark in the room with only the glow of the Christmas tree. I fell asleep.


At some point in that slumber, I heard clearly - a voice singing "I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see."  I opened my eyes.  


"Taylor! Did you hear that??"  Taylor is also now asleep and there is no one else in the house.  So did I just dream this?  I happened to glance at the television and noticed the cartoon program playing was in a church setting.  I grabbed the remote control and backed the program up 30 seconds or so.  There, on the screen appeared (of all things) Bart Simpson, lying on his bed. His parents, Marge and Homer are standing beside him. The scene changes to the outside of a church (cartoon of course) where I hear the swell of a pipe organ and a beautiful voice (I'm later to learn is that of Kelsey Grammar, playing a character named Sideshow Bob) singing my sought after lines of Amazing Grace! The scene has moved to the inside of the church - but at that point, Who Cares?  I had never watched an episode of The Simpsons in my life - yet God used this MOST unlikely vehicle to affirm my decision. 


One month later, I had my surgery.  It's been one of my greatest blessings and how I came to have it done, is one of my greatest testimonies!",


(Month of Gratitude 11/16/2012)

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